Horrorscopes: An Astrological Almanac

Good luck in the year ahead. You're all going to need it.

Horrorscopes* will tell you everything you need to know about what will happen to you in the year ahead, and we can reveal now, it's not all good news. In fact, none of it is. The moral? Blame it on the planets - let's face it, Saturn's a bastard.

This hilarious, tongue-in-cheek and detailed weekly guide to next year is interspersed with celebrity readings - find out what will be the hardest challenge David Cameron will face next year (hint: it involves Game of Thrones) and what embarrassing social faux pas will befall Harry Styles - and is packed full of other fun extras, including when to play and not play Monopoly (not June) and those all-important lottery numbers.

There's something for member of all signs of the Zodiac and beyond in this rude, witty and bang-up-to-date handbook which is a must-read if you want to know what will happen to you in the year ahead (just don't set your expectations too high).

*Disclaimer: Despite astrology being a 100% accurate science, we cannot be held responsible for any personal action or decisions made using our advice as a guide.

JONATHAN O'BRIEN lives in London. He calls himself a writer but actually works in the dubious world of 'social media'. He has written for Waterstones, Channel 4, Sky and ITV. When not 'engaging' his audience with 'maximum shareability brand repositioning awareness', he can be found in his room, reading.

Good luck in the year ahead. You're all going to need it. Horrorscopes will tell you everything you need to know about what will happen to you in the year ahead, and we can reveal now, it's not all good news. In fact, none of it is. The moral? Blame it on the planets - let's face it, Saturn's a bastard.This hilarious, tongue-in-cheek and detailed weekly guide to next year is interspersed with celebrity readings - find out what will be the hardest challenge David Cameron will face next year (hint: it involves Game of Thrones ) and what embarrassing social faux pas will befall Harry Styles - and is packed full of other fun extras, including when to play and not play Monopoly (not June) and those all-important lottery numbers.There's something for member of all signs of the Zodiac and beyond in this rude, witty and bang-up-to-date handbook which is a must-read if you want to know what will happen to you in the year ahead (just don't set your expectations too high).Disclaimer: Despite astrology being a 100% accurate science, we cannot be held responsible for any personal action or decisions made using our advice as a guide.

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