The End of Sex

Hookup culture dominates the lives of college students today. Most students spend hours agonizing over their hopes for Friday night and, later, dissecting the evenings'successes or failures, often wishing that the social contract of the hookup would allow them to ask for more out of sexual intimacy. The pressure to participate comes from all directions,from peers, the media, and even parents. But how do these expectations affect students themselves? And why aren't parents and universities helping students make better-informed decisions about sex and relationships?In The End of Sex , Donna Freitas draws on her own extensive research to reveal what young men and women really want when it comes to sex and romance. Surveying thousands of college students and conducting extensive one-on-one interviews at religious, secular public, and secular private schools, Freitas discovered that many students,men and women alike,are deeply unhappy with hookup culture. Meaningless hookups have led them to associate sexuality with ambivalence, boredom, isolation, and loneliness, yet they tend to accept hooking up as an unavoidable part of college life. Freitas argues that, until students realize that there are many avenues that lead to sex and long-term relationships, the vast majority will continue to miss out on the romance, intimacy, and satisfying sex they deserve.An honest, sympathetic portrait of the challenges of young adulthood, The End of Sex will strike a chord with undergraduates, parents, and faculty members who feel that students deserve more than an endless cycle of boozy one night stands. Freitas offers a refreshing take on this charged topic,and a solution that depends not on premarital abstinence or unfettered sexuality, but rather a healthy path between the two.

“Boston Globe "[A] straight-forward, well-researched, and eye-opening book.... This compelling testimony from young people around the country provides ample evidence for why this campus lifestyle should not be ignored." Christianity Today "Freitas provides compelling evidence that far too many young adults live lives of quiet desperation--sexually and socially... The End of Sex paints a vivid portrait of hookup culture...There is much in The End of Sex to applaud." Toronto Star "The book is informative, non-judgmental and a must-read for parents and for their university-aged kids although once you become immersed in it you'll be screaming (as I was), 'Oh spirit, show me no more.' But keep reading and start figuring out a new conversation with the kids -- or they may never know 'what love's got to do with it.'" Publishers Weekly "[A] scathing and reasoned attack on the casual-sex culture at American universities.... [Freitas] encourages mindfulness and an open dialogue about what students want to get out of sex, and her remedies (which include temporary periods of abstinence and a return to the traditional date) should provide, if not solutions, at least inspiration for parents and college staff in talking to students about how to have better relationships, and better sex."”

Lauren Sandler, author of "Righteous" and "One and Only" "You may think you know about hookup culture, but unless you have read Freitas's clear, compassionate, and complete study, you have no idea. Instead of gleaning the state of intimacy of an entire generation from a few subjects, Freitas surveys and interviews thousands of students, and the vast scope of the pervasive hookup culture she discovers is stunning. I recommend this book to men and women alike, students and professors, parents and kids--anyone with a personal or social interest in physical intimacy, emotional intimacy, and the widening chasm in between. Whether you spar with Freitas's conclusions, or feel liberated by them, "The End of Sex" is simply indispensable."

Donna Freitas is a professor at Boston University. Her writing has appeared in many newspapers and magazines, including The Boston Globe, Newsweek, Salon, and The Wall Street Journal. She contributes regularly to a oeOn Faith, a an online panel co-sponsored by Newsweek and The Washington Post, and she is an occasional commentator for NPRa (TM)s All Thinga (TM)s Considered. Growing up, Donna could often be found covered in flour in the wee hours of the morning making pasta from scratch with her Italian mother and grandmother, listening to them pray to one saint or another. She lives in New York

Hookup culture dominates the lives of college students today. Most students spend hours agonizing over their hopes for Friday night and, later, dissecting the evenings'successes or failures, often wishing that the social contract of the hookup would allow them to ask for more out of sexual intimacy. The pressure to participate comes from all directions,from peers, the media, and even parents. But how do these expectations affect students themselves? And why aren't parents and universities helping students make better-informed decisions about sex and relationships?In The End of Sex , Donna Freitas draws on her own extensive research to reveal what young men and women really want when it comes to sex and romance. Surveying thousands of college students and conducting extensive one-on-one interviews at religious, secular public, and secular private schools, Freitas discovered that many students,men and women alike,are deeply unhappy with hookup culture. Meaningless hookups have led them to associate sexuality with ambivalence, boredom, isolation, and loneliness, yet they tend to accept hooking up as an unavoidable part of college life. Freitas argues that, until students realize that there are many avenues that lead to sex and long-term relationships, the vast majority will continue to miss out on the romance, intimacy, and satisfying sex they deserve.An honest, sympathetic portrait of the challenges of young adulthood, The End of Sex will strike a chord with undergraduates, parents, and faculty members who feel that students deserve more than an endless cycle of boozy one night stands. Freitas offers a refreshing take on this charged topic,and a solution that depends not on premarital abstinence or unfettered sexuality, but rather a healthy path between the two.

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