How to Find Love

Choosing a partner is one of the most consequential and tricky decisions we will ever make, and the cost of repeated failure is immense. This book explains why we have the 'types' we do, and how our early experiences give us scripts of how and whom we love. It sheds light on harmful repetitive patterns and the extent to which we are not always simply choosing people who can make us happy. We learn the most common techniques we use to sabotage our chances of fulfilment and why, despite their costs, we unwittingly engage in them. This book provides a crucial set of ideas to help us make safer, more imaginative and more effective choices in love.

The School of Life is devoted to developing emotional intelligence. It addresses issues such as how to find fulfilling work, how to master the art of relationships, how to understand one's past, how to achieve calm, and how better to understand and - where necessary - change the world. These ideas are delivered through a range of channels: from videos, books, and products - to classes, events, and one-to-one therapy sessions.



The School of Life Press brings together the thinking and ideas of the School of Life creative team under the direction of series editor, Alain de Botton. Their books share a coherent, curated message that speaks with one voice: calm, reassuring, and sane.

Choosing a partner is one of the most consequential and tricky decisions we will ever make, and the cost of repeated failure is immense. This book explains why we have the 'types' we do, and how our early experiences give us scripts of how and whom we love. It sheds light on harmful repetitive patterns and the extent to which we are not always simply choosing people who can make us happy. We learn the most common techniques we use to sabotage our chances of fulfilment and why, despite their costs, we unwittingly engage in them. This book provides a crucial set of ideas to help us make safer, more imaginative and more effective choices in love.

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