Set My Heart To Five

‘You shall read this with unadulterated pleasure’ Scotland on Sunday

‘A beautiful, funny, heartfelt analysis of what it means to be human’ Simon Pegg

Set in a 2054 where humans have locked themselves out of the internet and Elon Musk has incinerated the moon, Set My Heart To Five is the hilarious yet profoundly moving story of one android’s emotional awakening.

Unhappy with his programmed job of dentistry and inspired by a love of classic movies, Jared sets out on a bold mission: to use the power of his burgeoning feelings to forever change the world for him and all his kind. Unfortunately, Jared intends to do this by writing his own movie, and things do not proceed according to plan…

Unlike anything you have ever read before, Set My Heart To Five is a book for anybody who has feelings, loves movies, and likes to laugh and cry and sometimes do both at the same time. It comes uniquely guaranteed to make its readers weep a minimum of 29mls of tears.

Book must be read in controlled laboratory conditions arranged at reader’s own expense. Other terms and conditions may apply to this offer.

“''Gripping ... genuinely funny ... pacy and emotive'' Sunday Times ''It is the closest thing I''ve read in a long time to Terry Pratchett ... You will read this with unadulterated pleasure'' Scotland on Sunday ''Funny, original and thought-provoking'' Daily Mail ''There''s a does-not-compute strain of comedy to his observations on the habits of our species ... and a melancholy heft to his more sombre insights'' Herald ''A truly hilarious, clever and strangely affecting meditation on the absurdity of Homo sapiens, replete with Venn diagrams, algorithms and movie tropes. I cried 67ml of tears'' Saga Magazine ''Narrated from a lovable bot''s perspective, this beguiling debut exposes our frailties with subversive humour'' Mail on Sunday ''Both whimsical and lyrical, an astounding examination of the human condition and all the things that make it up: curiosity, duty, art, dreams, and - of course - love. It is, much like its hero Jared, made up of both laughter and tears, and one of the most unique books ever crafted'' Mike Chen, author of A Beginning at the End ''I doubt I''ll encounter a more endearing, more joy-provoking character this year'' The Bookseller, Book of the Month ''Very, very clever heart-warming and heart-breaking story...I loved it!!!'' Reader Review ''A breath of fresh, quirky air that lifted my life'' Reader Review ''Funny and charming with a character that will stay with you'' Reader Review ''It''s like a grown up version of a Pixar movie'' Reader Review ''10/10 in love'' Reader Review ''Forces us to rethink our assumptions about what it means to be human'' Reader Review nation of the human condition and all the things that make it up: curiosity, duty, art, dreams, and - of course - love. It is, much like its hero Jared, made up of both laughter and tears, and one of the most unique books ever crafted'' Mike Chen, author of A Beginning at the End ''I doubt I''ll encounter a more endearing, more joy-provoking character this year'' The Bookseller, Book of the Month ''Very, very clever heart-warming and heart-breaking story...I loved it!!!'' Reader Review ''A breath of fresh, quirky air that lifted my life'' Reader Review ''Funny and charming with a character that will stay with you'' Reader Review ''It''s like a grown up version of a Pixar movie'' Reader Review ''10/10 in love'' Reader Review ''Forces us to rethink our assumptions about what it means to be human'' Reader Review nation of the human condition and all the things that make it up: curiosity, duty, art, dreams, and - of course - love. It is, much like its hero Jared, made up of both laughter and tears, and one of the most unique books ever crafted'' Mike Chen, author of A Beginning at the End ''I doubt I''ll encounter a more endearing, more joy-provoking character this year'' The Bookseller, Book of the Month ''Very, very clever heart-warming and heart-breaking story...I loved it!!!'' Reader Review ''A breath of fresh, quirky air that lifted my life'' Reader Review ''Funny and charming with a character that will stay with you'' Reader Review ''It''s like a grown up version of a Pixar movie'' Reader Review ''10/10 in love'' Reader Review ''Forces us to rethink our assumptions about what it means to be human'' Reader Review nation of the human condition and all the things that make it up: curiosity, duty, art, dreams, and - of course - love. It is, much like its hero Jared, made up of both laughter and tears, and one of the most unique books ever crafted'' Mike Chen, author of A Beginning at the End ''I doubt I''ll encounter a more endearing, more joy-provoking character this year'' The Bookseller, Book of the Month ''Very, very clever heart-warming and heart-breaking story...I loved it!!!'' Reader Review ''A breath of fresh, quirky air that lifted my life'' Reader Review ''Funny and charming with a character that will stay with you'' Reader Review ''It''s like a grown up version of a Pixar movie'' Reader Review ''10/10 in love'' Reader Review ''Forces us to rethink our assumptions about what it means to be human'' Reader Review the human condition and all the things that make it up: curiosity, duty, art, dreams, and - of course - love. It is, much like its hero Jared, made up of both laughter and tears, and one of the most unique books ever crafted'' Mike Chen, author of A Beginning at the End ''I doubt I''ll encounter a more endearing, more joy-provoking character this year'' The Bookseller, Book of the Month ''Very, very clever heart-warming and heart-breaking story...I loved it!!!'' Reader Review ''A breath of fresh, quirky air that lifted my life'' Reader Review ''Funny and charming with a character that will stay with you'' Reader Review ''It''s like a grown up version of a Pixar movie'' Reader Review ''10/10 in love'' Reader Review ''Forces us to rethink our assumptions about what it means to be human'' Reader Review”

‘[A] laugh-out-loud funny debut novel … absurdist, outrageous, irreverent and satirical… by the end of Jared’s adventures, readers will find themselves left with … an appreciation for the mutuality of all sentient life, and for the universal desire to be acknowledged and appreciated, whether one is birthed from factory or hospital … In Stephenson, Vonnegut may have his first true protégé.’ Washington Post

‘I doubt I’ll encounter a more endearing, more joy-provoking character this year’ The Bookseller, Book of the Month

‘A truly hilarious, clever, and strangely affecting meditation on the absurdity of Homo sapiens….I cried 67ml of tears’ Saga Magazine

‘Funny, original and thought-provoking’ Daily Mail

‘It is the closest thing I’ve read in a long time to Terry Pratchett … You will read this with unadulterated pleasure’ Scotland On Sunday

‘This beguiling debut exposes our frailties with subversive humour’ Mail on Sunday

‘Genuinely funny … pacey and emotive’ Sunday Times

‘Only the truly heartless would deny the art at work here’ The Herald

‘This entertaining and surprisingly poignant story is a charmer’ Publisher’s Weekly

Simon Stephenson is the author of the award-winning Let Not the Waves of the Sea (2012), a memoir about the loss of his brother in the Indian Ocean tsunami.  He works as a screenwriter in both the UK and the US, and his credits include the forthcoming Amazon film 'Louis Wain', starring Benedict Cumberbatch. This is his first novel.

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