How to Untie a Balloon

Avoid Popping Under Pressure

Pressure management is the key to effective leadership, conflict resolution, and staying composed when life feels like it's stretching you to the limit. In How to Untie a Balloon, former hostage negotiator and founder of Conflictish Ryan Dunlap provides practical strategies for managing stress, mastering conflict management, and building emotional resilience.

#1 New Release in Conflict Management, and in Human Resources & Personnel Management

Dunlap reveals the hidden impact of pressure on our thoughts, decisions, and actions. Using the analogy of a balloon, he demonstrates how unchecked stress, unresolved tension, and mismanaged conflict can lead us to self-destructive behaviors-making us dangerous to ourselves and those around us.

This book offers a practical roadmap to mastering conflict resolution for adults and implementing effective conflict reduction strategies. Through real-world narratives and the F.I.R.S.T. Steps framework, Dunlap simplifies complex conflicts into manageable components: Feelings, Interests, Relationships, Situation, and Toll. These strategies for resolving conflict enhance your self-awareness and empower you with the conflict management techniques needed to lead effectively in high-pressure environments.

Through each step of the F.I.R.S.T. Steps framework, you'll learn how to:

• Regain control over your emotions-so you don't react in ways that cost you respect and influence.
• Pinpoint what really matters-separating surface frustrations from deeper issues driving your stress.
• Strengthen your relationships-so conflict doesn't leave you bitter, burned out, or alone.
• Navigate high-stakes situations with confidence-no more second-guessing or spiraling under pressure.
• Recognize and release built-up tension-effectively managing stress through practical conflict management techniques.

How to Untie a Balloon delivers proven methods for conflict resolution, negotiation, and personal development. Master strategies for managing workplace conflict, maintaining emotional control, and enhancing your ability to resolve conflicts effectively in both personal and professional settings.

If you liked The Anatomy of Peace, Conflict Resolution Playbook, or Powerful Phrases for Dealing with Workplace Conflict, then you'll love How to Untie a Balloon.

“In How to Untie a Balloon, Ryan Dunlap, a former hostage negotiator, unpacks why we struggle under pressure despite knowing what to do. The issue isn’t tactics but managing emotions and pressure in critical moments. This book is both inspiring and empowering, giving readers the tools to close the gap between potential and performance. It’s a must-read for anyone serious about elevating their communication skills.”

—Kwame Christian, Esq., MA, founder and CEO of the American Negotiation Institute, host of Negotiate Anything podcast, and author of Finding Confidence in Conflict

“Ryan knows his stuff. This book will show you exactly how to manage the internal pressure we all face during difficult negotiations.”

—Mark Raffan, author of 9 Secrets to Win Deals and Influence Stakeholders

“In a world overwhelmed by disconnection and division, Ryan charts a new path where conflict becomes an opportunity for self-awareness, growth, and healing. As a planetary community, we need Ryan’s wisdom now more than ever!”

—Brandon Nappi, DMin, Berkeley Divinity School at Yale

“How to Untie a Balloon shifts your perspective and compels you to reflect on who you are under pressure. Ryan holds up a mirror, challenging you to own your reactions and redefine how you respond when the stakes are high. This is more than a book; it’s a wake-up call to lead with intention and integrity, even when the heat is on.”

—Glin Bayley, negotiation specialist and author of The Negotiation Playbook: Strategies That Work and Results That Last

“Ryan’s work is timely and extremely important in today’s current climate of division and misunderstanding. I would highly recommend anyone to not only read his book, but to work with him as well. I guarantee it will be a transformational experience!”

—Rennie Curran, former NFL linebacker, keynote speaker, and author

“Having lived out high-pressure situations with Ryan, these principles are tested and true. It’s an authentic work and must-read for those seeking to lead themselves and others more effectively.”

—Tra Battle, president of Battle Solutions

“Ryan Dunlap’s How to Untie a Balloon is a refreshing and practical take on navigating life’s challenges with grace and resilience. Whether you’re a mom of three little ones or an executive with a team of twenty, Ryan’s insightful strategies and relatable anecdotes empower readers to apply his methods to tackle stress head-on and find clarity in even the most chaotic moments. This is a must-read for anyone seeking balance and calm under pressure.”

—Angela Turner-Carruthers, meeting professional and author

“How to Untie a Balloon is a compelling and refreshing take on leadership and conflict management principles. Ryan has pulled back the curtain on what’s really behind conflict—our difficulties with managing our own emotions when the stakes escalate. He describes our human tendencies in a kind, non-judgmental, compassionate, and straightforward way while providing actionable steps to help readers make the positive changes they desire within themselves and tools to manage their interactions with others. More importantly, his wisdom, insight, and compassion will make readers feel cared for and empowered as they reflect and grow. This book and Ryan’s work is exactly what is needed in today’s world. This book ought to be required reading for anyone in a leadership position or with leadership aspirations.”

—Susannah Margison, JD, CPC, conflict strategist, coach, and counselor

“Ryan Dunlap has taken a simple metaphor to explain one of the most complex struggles we face: managing conflict. Reading this book will give you practical skills to manage and prevent conflict in a way that is completely within your control. This is an easy read that will make a difference for you and those around you.”

—Marsha G. King, PhD, president of Polaris Leadership Consulting

“How to Untie a Balloon offers an invaluable glimpse into the art and science of negotiation, drawing from Ryan Dunlap’s firsthand experiences on the front lines. With a conversational yet purposeful tone, he combines practical advice with timeless wisdom, equipping readers to navigate even the most difficult human interactions with confidence. Whether you’re a seasoned leader or simply seeking to improve how you navigate high-stakes conversations, this book is a must-read.”

—Dr. Dawn Marie Kier, chief heart doctor at New Dawn Consulting, executive coach, and pastor

With more than 20 years of combined law enforcement, ministry, and executive leadership experience, Ryan Dunlap is an internationally recognized conflict management coach and trainer. He is a Certified Leadership Coach as well as the founder and Chief Conflict Officer at Conflictish, a conflict strategy firm dedicated to helping leaders improve how they lead themselves and others through conflict. He is the creator of The Real Tact Model®, a custom framework for developing conflict competence. To date, he's coached leaders to build their conflict competency around the globe and in several industries including biotech, government, nonprofit, faith-based, healthcare, pharma, education, food & beverage, and commercial construction, among others. Informing Ryan’s conflict expertise is experience as a decorated law enforcement officer. As a former SVU Detective, SWAT Hostage Negotiator, and Crisis Intervention Officer, Ryan has facilitated hundreds of high-stakes interviews, interrogations, and negotiations.  He lives in Atlanta. Kwame Christian is the founder and CEO of the American Negotiation Institute, where he conducts training that helps make difficult conversations easier. Under Kwame’s leadership, ANI has coached and trained several Fortune 500 companies on applying the fundamentals of negotiation to corporate success. He’s the host of the world’s most popular negotiation podcast, Negotiate Anything. The show has over six million downloads and listeners in more than 180 countries. His book, Finding Confidence in Conflict, has helped countless individuals navigate difficult conversations and was inspired by Kwame’s popular TEDx Talk of the same name.Kwame was the recipient of the John Glenn College of Public Affairs Young Alumni Achievement Award in 2020, The Ohio State University Moritz College of Law Outstanding Recent Alumnus Award in 2021, and the 2022 Columbus 40 Under 40 Award. He also serves as a business lawyer at Carlile Patchen & Murphy LLP; contributor at Forbes; professor of negotiation for The Ohio State University Moritz College of Law, the top-ranked dispute resolution program in the country; and professor of communication and negotiation at the MBA program at Otterbein University. Kwame’s proudest achievement is his family. He’s married to Dr. Whitney Christian, and they have two lovely sons, Kai and Dominic.

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