The Mother Code

“Ruthie Ackerman offers readers a behind-the-scenes tour of her decision to become a mother despite a troubling legacy. This tender, generous book does the hard work of redefining ‘motherhood’ and ‘family’ so that they honor all aspects of a woman’s life.”—Christie Tate, author of the New York Times bestseller Group“A warm, candid memoir with a clear-eyed take on the conflicting pressures placed on Gen-X women, and all the ways choosing one path in life means forsaking others.”—Ada Calhoun, New York Times bestselling author of Why We Can’t Sleep “Ackerman’s stunning memoir pulls back the curtain on so many life stages that we’re taught from an early age should come easily and with great rewards. She lays bare the grief and bittersweetness inextricably tied to them all.”—Rebecca Soffer, bestselling author of The Modern Loss Handbook“Ruthie Ackerman zeros in on the stage of her life where she grapples with the decision whether to become a mother—taking us on a profound journey through societal expectations, desire, ambivalence and optimism.”—Eve Rodsky, New York Times bestselling author of Fair Play“An exceptional hybrid memoir that folds in genetics, the history of science and the bewildering world of the fertility industry … Ackerman’s journalistic skill and propulsive storytelling lead the reader through the byzantine, often bewildering world of the fertility industry.”—Hadassah Magazine“A beautiful examination of motherhood, obsession, genetics, feminism, fear, and letting go.”—Moon Unit Zappa, actress, singer, and author of Earth to Moon“Ackerman has managed to wrap her arms around anyone who has struggled with the path to motherhood. Her book is wondrous proof that no story or family looks the same, and that even the darkest edges of every journey can somehow become the thing that heals us.”—Christene Barberich, co-founder of Refinery29“The Mother Code is a candid, raw interrogation of maternal ambivalence, genetic inheritance, infertility, what we gain as mothers, and what we must leave behind. Anyone faced with questions on their own journey will feel seen by this deeply personal, probing memoir.”—Leslie Schrock, author of Bumpin’“Ruthie Ackerman is that rare writer whose fierce intelligence is matched by her warmth and honesty. Her book brings us new ways of thinking about how to be a mother, and a person.”—Claire Dederer, author of Monsters: A Fan’s Dilemma“A necessary paradigm shifter, and an urgent one for the moment.”—Hitha Palepu, curator of #5SmartReads and author of We’re Speaking“An honest, intimate look at one woman’s journey to motherhood.”—Eric J Forman, MD, HCLD, Medical and Laboratory Director at Columbia University Fertility Center

Ruthie Ackerman’s writing has been published in Vogue, Glamour, O Magazine, The New York Times, The Atlantic, The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Salon, Slate, and Newsweek. She launched the Ignite Writers Collective in 2019 and has since worked with hundreds of writers to publish their own stories. Her client wins include a USA Today bestseller, book deals with Big 5 publishers, representation by buzzy book agents, and essays in prestigious outlets. Ruthie Ackerman has a master’s degree in journalism from New York University and lives in Brooklyn with her family.