What My Father and I Don't Talk About

“This stunning collection gathers so many kinds of fathers; fathers selling cars, cutting hair, peeling apples, salting slugs, wearing dresses, arriving too late, fathers who were violent in their primes, cowed by end of life. I noted a few showing up to games under complicated circumstances, two who’d given up painting, and one surprising daddy. These essays are hilarious, comforting, confounding and devastating. If fathers point out the world to their kids, this book of kids points back in remarkable, beautiful ways.“  —Marie-Helene Bertino, author of Beautyland “In her poignant contribution to this collection, Susan Muaddi Darraj writes: “I get to see the layers of my father, all his various modes.” The entirety of What My Father And I Don’t Talk About gave me a similar sensation. The moving, varied essays assembled here showed me fathers in all their complexity and scope—sometimes loving, sometimes withholding, assertively present and achingly distant. This brilliant book is a vital addition to the literature of fathers and their children, and to our understanding of the tender and fraught relationships between them.” —Rosie Schaap, author of The Slow Road North “Moving and deeply relatable, this collection explores the many faces of fathers, from the loving and the humorous to the absent and the terrifying. Each essay invites us into a different world and a different childhood, yet finds unexpected throughlines of tenderness and vulnerability. What My Father and I Don’t Talk About will have readers seeing in powerful new light the relationship that has shaped their lives and sense of self.” —Qian Julie Wang, New York Times bestselling author of Beautiful Country  “With tenderness and aplomb in equal measure, these essays plumb the depths of paternal relations.” —Kirkus, starred review “Novelists, poets, and essayists reflect on their relationships with their fathers…there’s no denying their poignancy and power. Readers will want to keep tissues handy.” —Publishers Weekly “Spellbinding…These fearless essays, each one unputdownable, are likely to reassure readers that whatever relationship they have or don’t have with their own fathers is just right.” —Booklist “The men might be aging, absent, ill or estranged; but each writer approaches him with understanding and intention, rather than anger or confusion.” —LA Times “This anthology represents a kaleidoscope of emotions and experiences regarding fathers, a multiplicity of which often occur within a single essay, inside a single relationship.” —Poets & Writers “By turns tender, brave, and vulnerable, these beautifully curated essays will move and surprise you.” —Boston Globe “[The book] tackles difficult topics such as parental estrangement, toxic masculinity, and emotional availability in hopes of encouraging us to consider how we are shaped by our family.” —TIME “An anthology of 16 compassionate, nuanced essays probing the intricacies of family relationships…Despite the heavy topics—estrangement, illness, emotional detachment—these candid pieces thrill with their variety and their resonant themes.” —Shelf Awareness

Michele Filgate is the editor of What My Mother and I Don’t Talk About and What My Father and I Don’t Talk About. Her writing has appeared in Longreads, Poets & Writers, The Washington Post, Los Angeles Times, The Boston Globe, The Paris Review Daily, Tin House, Gulf Coast, Oprah Daily, and many other publications. She received her MFA in Fiction from NYU, where she was the recipient of the Stein Fellowship.