Darkness Was My Candle

In Darkness Was My Candle, the author takes us on an excruciating process of excavation to retrieve her wounded soul from the hell of familial, systemic, and institutional violence. Illuminated most poetically with quotes from the wisdom traditions, is a healing path through a threatening perilous world of utter darkness to love, spiritual awakening, luminosity, and transcendence. Far from narrating only her personal history of abuse and exploitation, she also reveals the shocking collective shadow in psychiatric institutions, pharmaceutical companies and the therapeutic profession. I highly recommend this memoir of a transformative individuation process of dying and becoming.

‘As a sexual abuse survivor, I long for authentic tales of the human experience to help me reassemble the pieces of my life in a way that creates meaning for it. Lora’s story encompasses the disturbing and haunting reality of our humanity along with astonishing moments of beauty and exquisite tenderness that buoy our capacity to heal. She illuminates a spiritual path forward beyond traditional therapy that eases my soul-shaking traumas and offers an invitation for all of us to examine one of the greatest struggles of our lives: Will we and our collective energies remain incomplete or courageously step into wholeness, for ourselves and one another?’

‘Darkness Was My Candle is a riveting, can’t-put-down read, sensitively detailing the author’s harrowing and dark life experiences, starting at birth and extending well into adulthood. Unlike many individuals who suffer these intolerable, shaming, and life-threatening circumstances, Lora managed, over and over, to grasp the slender lifelines offered her. She learned and searched and, eventually, turned her knowledge and understanding into a vocation of healing and helping others. From the bleak cauldron of her life emerged a magnificent therapist and healer, who shines a brilliant beacon of hope to the literally thousands of lives she lifts up. Don’t miss this rare, astounding book.’

‘Struck by Lora’s deep empathy I once remarked to her, ‘You must have had a mother who loved you a great deal’. Little did I know that Lora had been birthed to a mother incapable of parenting but had found mothering and mentoring throughout her life in ways that reflect both grace and self-efficacy. Lora’s story is one of almost unimaginable trauma, abiding memory, and the triumph of the human spirit. It is a true “hero’s journey”. Told with intelligence and with the intent to teach, it shows us how hope can be kept alive by simple acts of kindness by ordinary people, how easy it is to fail the most vulnerable young people in our midst, and how presence and compassion can change the course of a life. This book deserves to become a classic in the literature of trauma and healing. It should be required reading for all students and practitioners of the healing arts as well as for educators, who have more power to transform young lives than they may realize.’

‘Darkness Was My Candle is a work of the divine which guides us through the tenacity of the human spirit to endure the unspeakable, the untenable and emerge with the light that had fallen and has now been resurrected and restored back to its original brilliance. In this expedition of the heart and spirit, Lora gives voice to the many dark hallways of the soul, the raw honesty of experiences that left her reeling from betrayal and abuse in all its unforgiving forms. We watch the metamorphosis take place that will transform her from the inside out and the powerful recognition of being “beloved” when she discovers that she was never alone and her sharing that neither are we. Her journey to becoming an unwitting Sage has come full circle and as a result of this work, she has created a reverberation of hope for all those who sit in hopelessness and despair, those who have lost their voice and those who think there is no way to heal from the damage done to them over their lifetime. Those who read this work, will truly be forever changed.’

‘To read Darkness Was My Candle is to experience a deep and profound healing. Lora DeVore’s memoir has a revolutionary premise: spirituality and compassion may blossom from the basest of soils, may arise from abuse and trauma. As Lora takes us on an intimate journey from trauma to transcendence, the impact of her story has the power to evolve us. Her life experience encompasses posttraumatic stress from sexual abuse and medical torture, as well as the tortuous withdrawal from enforced medication within a psychiatric hospital. This book also explores our collective systems and their history through the personal lens of one who has endured horrendous systemic abuse—from psychiatric and medical, to military, as well as religious violation. Lora DeVore skilfully weaves together her memoir—a healing journey that embraces dreamwork, visionary experience, and a Kundalini energetic awakening. Trace the development of spiritual embodiment through the process of healing fractured and dissociated selves. This author is someone who truly embodies the soul of the world.’

‘From the first shocking pages to the last inspiring ones, Lora shares the unvarnished truth of her life that began with betrayals,first by a deeply disturbed mother followed by a cruel and sick therapist and later by the courts and a state hospital. She shares her inner responses to all that happened and we feel her helplessness and vulnerability. This is also a story of the longing for life that was kept alive like a sacred flame inside her that flickered, but never went out, even in the most devastating circumstances. She tells of the light that can appear for a day or a few weeks in the deepest darkness as she weaves into her story the synchronistic appearances of “human angels” that appeared, sometimes as a neighbor, a nun even a woman on a snowy street corner who turned out to be a famous artist. Readers also have the benefit of a skilled writer and natural storyteller who has the perspective and insights of the wise woman who is now a skilled psychotherapist and teacher to others. Even though every aspect of this page turner is a true saga, it reads like the best of a fictional page turner. She shows us how the heroine–herself—not only survives multiple terrors of darkness, but conquers them through the alchemy of spiritual and psychological transformation. This is a timely book, a cautionary tale. In this era of secrets, abuses, and systemic injustices are surfacing. Through Lora’s courageous testimony, she invites us to look with clear eyes and awareness at what can happen in any system, including those designed to help, if we look away, refuse to listen or require accountability. This book belongs in the libraries and teaching labs for all people who desire to live and serve consciously. It certainly should be required reading for doctors, therapists, ministers, lawyers , judges, social workers, prison personnel, teachers and volunteers in human service. I will be proudly and gratefully recommending this book to clients, workshop attendees and friends.’

‘The integrative and multi-disciplinary approach to the inner psycho-spiritual work that Lora describes in Darkness Was My Candle is a blueprint for a new humanity that comes about through the pioneers on the frontiers of consciousness suffering deeply, and daring to brave new inner vistas and possibilities for the human race. This book is a testimony to the grace, devotion, hard work and vision she has had to share her process with the rest of humanity. She describes the labor and birthing of this new Self out of the degradation and misery of suffering, in a way that inspires us all to continue to search and devote our lives to the inner path. The great turning and transition from an externally focused life, to an inner life of integration of all aspects of our being is described. It is the great turning and shift that is required of us all if the planet is to heal, and humanity redeem itself so that true and lasting change can happen on this planet. The failure of every system in her life is well documented, and impeccably researched. Her capacity to find a way through the horrors of the systems in place to “help,” is the map we all need to aspire to. She introduces us to a community/communion of “saints” in her life, angels in situations of hell - but they could not do anything unless she had wanted to become one herself. By her account she used every scrap of care that came her way, from every walk of life, every discipline, every opportunity, to learn to relate to herself in a loving, reverential, dignified, and integrated way. And so, through this inspiring account, we are all called to the inner path as well.’

‘Darkness Was My Candle is a story of horror and hope, a searing indictment of individual and institutional cruelty, and a soaring celebration of our human capacity to find light in the darkest places and saving grace in small kindnesses. Lora DeVore shows us how a terribly exploited, fearfully isolated, wounded child can learn to trust her own inner wisdom and grow into a deeply compassionate woman who brings hard-won understanding and skillful healing to others. She inspires each of us to look within the darkness of our own life’s traumas for the warmth and light of transformation. Lora DeVore is a wonder, and so is Darkness Was My Candle.’

‘Darkness was my Candle is a must-read for anyone that is interested in transforming hardship into personal growth. The life story of Lora Devore, a gifted mind/body/spirit guide, is both heartbreaking and inspirational. The lessons learned through her suffering easily apply to all that want to add meaning and purpose to their lives.’

Lora DeVore is a visionary leader, sought-after speaker and powerful storyteller. She integrates her experience as a psychotherapist and educator in her role at PrairieCare in Minneapolis, Minnesota. For the past twenty years, she has also been a senior faculty member with the Washington, D.C., internationally recognized Center for Mind-Body Medicine.