The Anxious Person’s Guide to Non-Monogamy

A refreshingly honest, comprehensive and realistic guide to navigating non-monogamous relationships of all kinds. Packed with nuance, helpful advice, and self-reflections, this is a gem for new and experienced folk alike, especially those of us living at the intersections of disability, oppression and/or trauma. – Meg-John Barker, author of How to Understand Your SexualityLola Phoenix guides those living in or curious about ethical non-monogamy in their signature no-bullshit, practical guide to polyamory. A refreshing perspective that incorporates self-reflection, personal growth with partners and an emphasis on mental health - healthy caveats when it comes to navigating all relationships, whether polyamorous or not. – Jenny Yuen, author of Polyamorous: Living and Loving MoreLola Phoenix uses their longtime expertise in the field of non-monogamy to guide those at all levels through common questions, issues and feelings. This wide-ranging, welcoming and inclusive guide is perfect for anyone thinking about stepping outside of monogamy, and invites readers to fully explore their own relationships, desires and mental health on an ongoing basis. Phoenix offers practical tips around anxiety that readers will find invaluable. – Rachel Kramer Bussel, author, Sex & Cupcakes: A Juicy Collection of Essays, and editor, The Big Book of OrgasmsThe Anxious Person’s Guide to Non-Monogamy is a refreshingly inclusive and trauma-informed guide to polyamory. The advice is practical, honest, and engaging. Lola addresses common issues in polyamory with their unique perspective, accurate analogies, and well-rounded thought exercises. Overall, this book is an excellent addition to the body of polyamorous literature and will serve as a useful guide for both new and seasoned non-monogamists. – Leanne Yau, non-monogamy educator and advocateLola Phoenix has written a book about nonmonogamy that feels like an old friend - both reassuring and gently challenging. The Anxious Person’s Guide to Non-Monogamy is a must read that encourages one to consider power dynamics as well as personal care in a way that is mindful of trauma while also encouraging growth. If I had read this in my twenties I would have potentially avoided years of grief and self blame. A gem. – Kitty Stryker, editor of Ask: Building Consent Culture

Lola Phoenix runs the popular weekly relationship advice column and podcast, Non-Monogamy Help, and has been non-monogamous for over a decade. Their writing has appeared in Medium, Huffington Post, Pink News, Gay Star News, The Independent, and Everyday Feminism. They often give talks and presentations on relationships and LGBTQIA+ issues and have been interviewed for Attitude, Buzzfeed and The Independent. The Anxious Person’s Guide to Non-Monogamy is their first book.