Before They Were Men

“Before They Were Men is a reckoning, a manifesto, a wellspring of curiosity, and an invitation to consider better ways of imagining masculinity. Radical and self-possessed, Jacob Tobia is a unique and accessible voice in contemporary gender theory.”—Amanda Montell, New York Times bestselling author of The Age of Magical Overthinking, Cultish, and Wordslut “In Before They Were Men, Jacob Tobia delivers a seismic cultural moment. With sharp wit and stunning vulnerability, Tobia dismantles the myths of manhood and reframes the masculine experience as one of profound, often unspoken pain—and possibility. This is the book we didn’t know we were desperate for: a love letter to the broken, an indictment of the systems that break them, and a blueprint for healing. Timely, courageous, and unforgettable, Tobia’s voice is nothing short of essential.”—Jeffrey Marsh, author of Take Your Own Advice“With wit sharp enough to shave a mustache and tenderness deep enough to hold grief, Jacob Tobia has created something urgent and original: a way to talk about masculinity without abandoning those shaped by it. Part memoir, part cultural reckoning, these essays don’t preach—they illuminate, offering us a road map to repair, from one of the most groundbreaking voices on gender writing today.”—Jen Winston, author of Greedy

Jacob Tobia is a writer, a producer, a performer, and the bestselling author of Sissy. Their work and words have appeared in The New York Times, Los Angeles Times, The Guardian, Time, and Paper, and on The Daily Show with Trevor Noah, among other outlets. Before They Were Men is their second book.