How to Be a Person in the World

New York Times Bestseller • From the "best advice columnist of her generation” (Esquire) comes a hilarious, frank, and witty collection of all-new responses, plus a few greatest hits from the beloved "Ask Polly" column in New York magazine’s The Cut.

Should you quit your day job to follow your dreams? How do you rein in an overbearing mother? Will you ever stop dating wishy-washy, noncommittal guys? Should you put off having a baby for your career? 

Heather Havrilesky is here to guide you through the “what if’s” and “I don’t knows” of modern life with the signature wisdom and tough love her readers have come to expect. Whether she’s responding to cheaters or loners, lovers or haters, the anxious or the down-and-out, Havrilesky writes with equal parts grace, humor, and compassion to remind you that even in your darkest moments you’re not alone.

“Esquire Best Books of 2016 Harper''s Bazaar Editors Favorite Books of 2016 PopSugar Best Books of 2016 Nylon Bests Book of 2016 "A genuinely humorous and compelling voice...Havrilesky''s writerly energy and passion confirm that the exchange of best friend wisdom -- a domain that has always been considered ''female,'' and therefore trivial -- can be elevated into art." --Jessi Klein, New York Times Book Review "[Havrilesky] is part Buddha and part Amy Schumer: wise, whip-smart, and profanely funny." -- Entertainment Weekly "The best advice columnist of her generation" --Esquire "The title of Heather Havrilesky''s How to Be a Person in the World is almost too cute.... Like: do we really need a guide to that, and is that really what this is? But it turns out the answers are yes, actually, and yes." -- Chicago Tribune "There''s something nourishing in every column... But sometimes she writes things that are like opening up the fridge and finding the universe inside." -- The Atlantic "What I love so much about Heather Havrilesky and her new book is that, beside being her usual brilliant, hilarious, equally kick-ass and compassionate self, ‎she actually gives great advice. How to be a Person in the World will change your life, for the way better." --Anne Lamott, New York Times bestselling author of Small Victories "A large-hearted reminder that all of us are struggling, and none of us are alone." --Kate Bolick, author of the national bestseller Spinster "Heather Havrilesky''s advice leaves me laughing, nodding in recognition, pumping my fist with excitement, and furiously underlining passages to capture the wisdom that drops out of her mouth.... This is more than an advice book -- it''s a life raft." --Sarah Hepola, New York Times bestselling author of Blackout: Remembering the Things I Drank to Forget "True to its title, this collection touches on nearly every facet of living, and Havrilesky''s wit, intelligence, and candor set her apart as perhaps the best advice columnist currently in circulation." -- Publishers Weekly "Funny, frank advice for people searching for solutions to a myriad of relationship issues." --Kirkus Review "Readers allergic to classic self-help will adore Havrilesky''s empowering, grounding, and utterly sincere message delivered in a lovingly unsparing, perfectly profane tone." -- Booklist (Starred Review) "In moments of despair, Havrilesky''s elegant writing and rock-solid judgment can change your entire outlook. Read How to Be a Person in the World for the advice, but stay for the pure magic that is her perceptiveness and prose." -- Paper Magazine "Saying that Havrilesky has a way with words is like saying Marilyn Monroe liked diamonds. Havrilesky doesn''t just write--she dances with the words, building empathetic responses that can''t be classified as just advice columns. They are more keen observations of human behavior." -- BookPage "[Havrilesky is] an alluringly wry cheerleader, an enthusiastic volunteer offering sports drinks as we struggle past during the half-marathon of life." -- Slate Book Review "She is not only an excellent writer and cultural critic, but the best possible agony aunt for people who don''t care for agony aunts.... And she has an exceptional ability to hit the nail on the head and fundamentally understand people." -- The Guardian "Heather Havrilesky... is both the first and last person you''d seek out for guidance. On one hand, she''ll shake you by the shoulders and tell you the truth. On the other, she''s the friend rooting you on, cursing (creatively) all the way... Havrilesky abandons the prim and proper and instead delivers delightfully offbeat wisdom with a side of straight talk." -- NPR”

A Best Book of the Year
NPR Esquire Harper’s Bazaar Nylon The Huffington Post * PopSugar

"Funny, staggering, no-bullshit sculptures of insight." —Leslie Jamison, Paris Review

“Under her Ask Polly moniker, Havrilesky dishes radically honest, no-nonsense advice tempered with self-deprecating humor, gleeful profanity, and an unfettered voice.” —Los Angeles Times

“The best advice columnist of her generation.” —Esquire

“There’s something nourishing in every column. . . . But sometimes [Havrilesky] writes things that are like opening up the fridge and finding the universe inside.” —The Atlantic
 
“Warm and charismatic. . . . Genuinely humorous and compelling. . . . Polly gets it.” —The New York Times Book Review

"With vicious wit and merciless accuracy, [Havrilesky] isolates motivations, redirects anxious and defeatist energy, and delivers specific, usually hilarious, instructions." —The Paris Review

“If you are even a little bit interested in people and the world, then this book will interest you. And if you think you aren’t interested in people or the world, then you should read this book anyway because it might surprise you by proving that there’s a lot to reward such interest—and compassion and empathy—after all.” —Chicago Tribune
 
“[Havrilesky] is part Buddha and part Amy Schumer: Wise, whip-smart, and profanely funny.” —Entertainment Weekly
 
“On one hand, [Havrilesky] will shake you by the shoulders and tell you the truth. On the other, she’s the friend rooting you on, cursing (creatively) all the way. . . . Havrilesky abandons the prim and proper and instead delivers delightfully offbeat wisdom with a side of straight talk.” —NPR Books
 
“A comfort to read. . . . There is real love behind [Havrilesky’s] tough love. . . . Even if you feel you’re not in need of advice yourself, you will surely value Havrilesky’s astute social commentary.” —San Francisco Chronicle
 
“Irresistible. . . . Alluringly wry. . . . [Others] promise to help us clean up our messes. But Havrilesky leans into the mess until it swallows her, its embrace resembling something like light.” —Slate

“Casual and pathologically sincere, like you’ve just stumbled into the most engaging conversation at a party after spending 30 minutes talking about the weather across the room.” —Vogue.com

“In moments of despair, Havrilesky’s elegant writing and rock-solid judgment can change your entire outlook. Read How to Be a Person in the World for the advice, but stay for the pure magic that is her perceptiveness and prose.” —Paper Magazine

HEATHER HAVRILESKY is the author of the memoir Disaster Preparedness. She has written for New York magazine, The New York Times Book Review, the Los Angeles Times, The New York Times Magazine, Bookforum, The New Yorker, NPR's All Things Considered, and several anthologies. She was a TV critic at Salon for seven years. She lives in Los Angeles with her husband and a loud assortment of dependents, most of them nondeductible.

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