When the Naughty Step Makes Things Worse

A round of applause for When the Naughty Step Doesn’t Work by Dr Naomi Fisher and Eliza Fricker. This book is a breath of fresh air for parents who feel left behind by traditional parenting advice. It is insightful, compassionate and long overdue. I highly recommend it to all parents navigating the complexities of raising neurodiverse children – Dr Olivia Kessel, host of the SEND Parenting PodcastThis book helps to question your own “it has to be that way” ideas, to take pressure off yourself in parenting and to adopt an expectation-free attitude when your child reacts sensitively to pressure and stress. It is a blessing for PDA parents to read how and why things don’t work and how we can change it… The book is varied, vividly illustrated and written in a catchy way… You can easily jump between chapters and pick out what is important in the moment… Among other things, the chapter on screens is groundbreaking… Read it, it’s fantastic and - we promise! - simple. – Dr Katharina Petrucci, PDA InitiativeI loved this book. It is easy to read and jam-packed with easy to follow advice. There is no finger-wagging, just oodles of empathy and gentle nudges into thinking a different way about parenting. I found it personally useful, and am already recommending it to the parents I work with. The illustrations are also divine - a picture speaks a thousand words! – Lucy McDonald, child counsellor and host of the PANS PANDAS Stories podcastIt’s such a relief both professionally and personally to read this book. I’ve known for some time now that we need a mindset shift in our approaches to parenting. That sadly ‘mainstream parenting’ does not work for many children and that our evidence base has focused on the observable outcomes (behaviour), missing the hidden impact on our relationships and how our children feel. The low demand parenting approaches in this book have the possibility to help child and parent relationships flourish, change our outdated obsession with ‘compliance’ and centre our children’s development and wellbeing. This is going straight to the top of my recommendations list, and I can’t wait until it is more readily available in every library! – Dr Anita Marsden, child clinical psychologistAt a time when we are seeing a significant rise in children struggling with their mental health, families are often feeling misunderstood and let down by the school system, the health service and society as a whole. This book is a lifeline for those families. Naomi and Eliza offer an enlightening and fascinating dive into the way we raise our children in today’s world. Together, they carefully dissect and challenge our accepted norms and beliefs, encouraging us to rethink what we understand by the term ‘parenting’. With her background as a clinical psychologist, parent and years of working with children who are struggling, Naomi clearly has a far-reaching understanding of the complexities of child development and the concept of neurodiversity. She manages to communicate this simply and logically, using conversations, diagrams and Eliza’s insightful illustrations, making this a pleasurable and accessible book for all – Dr Jules Greenway, GPI experienced a tremendous sense of relief and vindication after years of battling between my instincts and mainstream beliefs of reward/punishment. It is liberating to be given the green light and to realise that my gut has been right all along – Kate, mother of two (one tween and one autistic/ADHD teenager)Naomi and Eliza offer hope and a gentle way forward. I feel heard, like somebody understands, and they have really saved my son’s life… he has a future and I see the sparkle returning – Kirsty, mother of oneI spent years thinking I was a terrible parent, and feeling judged by all around when my son wouldn’t respond to traditional ‘punishment and reward’ methods. But I didn’t know another way. Now I do - since being introduced to Low Demand Parenting my parenting is much more effective, my relationship with my son is repaired, my whole family is much happier and, most of all, I don’t feel like I’m failing him anymore – Katie, mother of twoSo many useful and practical tips… I loved the structured and clear approach and it gave me reassurance that I’m not alone (or losing my mind) as well as future hope – Clare, parent of twoWe have a houseful of hormonal teenagers and we don’t fight - how weird is that? – Louise, Essex

Dr. Naomi Fisher (Author)

Dr Naomi Fisher is a clinical psychologist who specialises in trauma, autism and alternative education. She is the mother of two and the author of several books on psychology, education and mental health. Her work has featured in The Psychologist, The Green Parent, Juno, SEN Magazine and she has appeared on many podcasts including Reasons to be Cheerful with Ed Miliband and Geoff Lloyd.

Eliza Fricker (Author)

Eliza Fricker is an author and illustrator who has written and illustrated two books of her own (The Family Experience of PDA and The Sunday Times bestseller Can’t Not Won’t) as well has having illustrated several others. She runs a successful illustrated blog about her experiences with her daughter’s school attendance struggles. She created the Missing the Mark podcast, an exploration of what happens when a child isn’t happy at school. She has spoken at the Rethinking Education conference and gives talks to local authorities on what it’s like for families when a child can’t attend school.