Healing from Narcissistic Abuse

Narcissistic abuse leaves behind a trail of pain and suffering that can negatively impact survivors for decades afterwards. This book is a powerful, practical and deeply compassionate guide to recovery, healing and growth. Step-by-step it takes you through the evidence-based tools and strategies of trauma-focused ACT and shows you how to apply them effectively with all aspects of this emotional and psychological pain. Highly recommended for survivors, their loved ones and therapists who work with them – Dr Russ Harris, bestselling author of The Happiness TrapDr Daksha Hirani has created an exceptional guide for navigating the complexities of narcissistic abuse recovery. By combining her clinical expertise with trauma-focused acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), she offers readers a compassionate, practical and evidence-based roadmap to healing. Packed with relatable case studies, actionable exercises and empowering insights, this book is a must-read for survivors and clinicians alike. It will help readers reconnect with their values, build resilience and take meaningful steps toward a thriving, fulfilling life – Dr Joe Oliver, co-author of The Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook for Self Esteem; founder of Contextual ConsultingIn this book, Daksha successfully combines her personal experience of narcissistic abuse as well as her clinical experience to provide valuable insights into how to survive this challenging experience. She does this through the evidence-based psychological approach of acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT). Rather than getting caught up in trying to understand or change the behaviour of those around us, Daksha encourages us to use ACT skills to focus on our own values, how we want to live our lives, and take action that will bring us closer to these values. This is a must-read for anyone wanting to take control of their own lives and move forward in a positive direction – Dr Sarah Swan, consultant clinical psychologist and authorA must-read for anyone affected by narcissistic abuse. Dr Daksha Hirani combines expert clinical advice with personal experience to offer wisdom, insights and practical strategies. Using the evidence-based approach of acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), she shifts the focus from trying to change others to instead reclaiming your own life. Through ACT skills, readers learn to align with their values and take meaningful steps toward healing and empowerment – Dr Catherine O’Leary, consultant clinical psychologist and authorAs a family lawyer with many years of experience dealing with disputes on divorce, I have seen first-hand the profound impact on an individual and their families of being under the thrall of a narcissist within the domestic setting and the shadow such behaviour can cast well after a relationship ends. It is one of the most insidious and coercive forms of abuse. A partner will seek to cling on to the power they enjoyed during the marriage. The recipient can be drowned in self-doubt and can still look, even after separation, for validation from their former partner. Sadly, in the divorce arena, those that exhibit such behaviour may seek to leverage the vulnerability that they have created by dissuading their spouses from taking legal advice, convincing them that disclosure (or any form of scrutiny) is not necessary and that they will ‘do worse’ if they do not accept everything they say - playing on the very self-doubt they have manufactured. This coercive technique is subtle, but very real, and is designed to deprive one party of their legal rights. I cannot stress enough how important it is for an individual to seek therapeutic support alongside the legal process. This book is a rare gift. Dr Hirani brings years of clinical experience to each and every page, but what sets this work apart is the personal meaning behind every carefully crafted word. It is not just another piece of content on narcissism: It brings clarity; enabling the reader to understand their experiences and empowering them to establish a new life with vital tools and techniques. I highly recommend this book to my clients that are living with a narcissist, are navigating the destructive aftermath of separation from an abusive partner or are being incorrectly labelled as a narcissist (often by the narcissistic partner). I suggest that family lawyers up and down the country will also find this to be an indispensable guide to identifying and understanding the deeply harmful effects that arise when narcissistic personalities are truly prevalent, or when one is being falsely accused, since they often act as the first gatekeepers when a relationship breaks down. This book simply must be read. It is not just necessary or desirable - it is essential – Mark Hands, divorce and family law solicitor and partnerWorking on recovering from my narcissistic abuse using acceptance and commitment therapy has been invaluable to my healing journey. This unique therapy has helped me understand how to harness the power within me, and to equip myself with the tools to look forward and leave the trauma embedded in me behind. The mix of encouragement to take bold steps and the gentle and compassionate nature of ACT is so perfectly targeted to women like me who have experienced the abuse I have faced. I found the validation I craved, the voice I had lost, and the hope of a beautiful future finally seems attainable. I am keen to work through all the effects of narcissistic abuse using ACT principles. I strongly recommend this work to all who need support in overcoming their narcissistic abuse – Client 1, A. B.My work with Dr Hirani provided me incredible insight into the complexities of narcissistic abuse and practical advice on how to process, recover and heal from the abuse. As I worked through her programme I was able to gain a better understanding of narcissism and use her methods to move forward. The effects of narcissistic abuse are very real, and the mental, emotional and physical toll is immense. The practical advice that facilitated self-awareness and real transformation was a game changer. Not only do I feel that I am healing from the traumatic aftermath of narcissistic abuse, but I feel hopeful and positive about the future. After many years of being trapped in the narcissistic web of control, this programme offers valuable support in reclaiming one’s life. I look forward to a life where I can thrive/feel truly alive again, as every survivor of narcissistic abuse deserves to. For anyone that has fallen prey to the narcissist, I can’t recommend this work enough – Client 2, H. K.This work is amazing. I feel like after so many wasted years of having suffered from narcissistic abuse, I am starting my recovery at last – Client 3, P. K.Using acceptance and commitment therapy to overcome my narcissistic abuse was extremely helpful. The work on values was particularly enlightening for me and has triggered a shift on the way I look at my life, putting my values (and not other peoples’) at the centre. I still need to work on it, but feel I have tools to recognise my FOG patterns. In moments that would have normally generated a breakdown of depression and desperation, I have gone back to my notes on defusion and expansion techniques and allowed myself to go through the sensations. I have not had a breakdown since I completed my work with Dr Hirani even though life can sometimes continue to be challenging – Client 4, Z. D.

Dr. Daksha Hirani is a clinical psychologist with over twenty-five years of experience. After experiencing narcissistic abuse in personal relationships, she focused her energies on helping others who had suffered similarly. She now works in private practice, providing psychotherapy services for clients from all walks of life and at all stages in their recovery process, helping them to cope, survive, and thrive.