How We Desire

What if, instead of discovering our sexuality only once, during puberty, we discover it again later—and then again, after that? What if our sexuality reinvents itself every time our desire shifts, every time the object of our desire changes? What if the nature of our desire is constantly changing—growing deeper, lighter, wilder, more reckless, more tender, more selfish, more devoted, more radical?

How We Desire is an enthralling essay about gender, sexuality and love by one of Germany’s most admired writers. It’s about growing up, and discovering the contours of desire and difference, about understanding that we sometimes ‘slip into norms the way we slip into clothes, putting them on because they’re laid out ready for us’.

In telling her own story, Emcke draws back the veil on how we experience desire, no matter what our sexual orientation. And she examines how prejudice against homosexuality has survived its decriminalisation in the west.

This marvellous book pays homage to the radical magic and liberating tenderness of desire itself.

“PRAISE for ECHOES OF VIOLENCE [2007] 'A gallery of magnificent survivors, men and especially women who tell their tales without self-pity and who refuse to surrender to the miseries piled upon them.'--New York Review of Books; 'Emcke describes the moral and political delicacy of reporting on a war from one side or the other and the overwhelming questions of humanity and inhumanity found in the midst of war.'--Booklist; 'Combines gripping narrative with philosophic reflection on the meaning of war and the limitations of journalism to communicate the abyss of violence.'--The Globe and Mail; Emcke...recounts personal stories to illuminate the larger significance not only of each particular story/assignment/war but also of the nature of injustices... She handles battle with grace, both in the midst of conflict and, later, on the page.'-- Bookforum; 'A compelling blend of narrative and analysis, description and reflection.'--The Age; 'Emcke is the thinking person's reporter. Her book is peppered with quotes from ancient and modern thinkers who have shaped her own understanding of the human condition. She combines gripping, dramatic stories with philosophical reflection on the nature of violence as she tries to make sense of human suffering.'--Montreal Gazette; 'A fascinating text that raises crucial questions about the nature of war and suffering--and how journalists can best respond to them.'--European Legacy; PRAISE FOR HOW WE DESIRE'Delicate and vulnerable, angry, passionate, clever and thoughtful. An amazing work.'--Westdeutsche Allgemeine Zeitung; 'Her words tremble with fury...A compelling conversation, urging readers to rethink the borderlands of the erotic.'--The Australian; 'Huge intellect and tremendous energy.'--Radio NZ;”

‘Delicate and vulnerable, angry, passionate, clever and thoughtful. An amazing work.’ Westdeutsche Allgemeine Zeitung
‘Her words tremble with fury…A compelling conversation, urging readers to rethink the borderlands of the erotic.’ Australian
‘Huge intellect and tremendous energy.’ Radio NZ
‘Hypnotic.’ Sydney Morning Herald
‘A beautiful account of discovering and rediscovering one’s identity.’ Otago Daily Times

Carolin Emcke was born in 1967. She studied philosophy, politics and history in London, Frankfurt and at Harvard. From 1998 to 2013 she reported from war and crisis zones including Kosovo, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Iraq, Gaza and Haiti. She has written a number of books, and in 2016 she received the Peace Prize of the German Book Trade, which has also been won by Svetlana Alexievich, Orhan Pamuk and Susan Sontag. How We Desire is the first book by Carolin Emcke to be translated into English.

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