If Animals Could Talk: A Children's Book for Adults

"Rise and shine, assholes," trills the bird

If animals could talk, what would they say? Certainly nothing polite, according to this hilarious illustrated book.

On these pages, you'll meet over 100 illustrated animals showing the whole range of human emotions and foibles, from sassy to grumpy, arrogant to dejected, glib to nonplused. "How old did you say you were?" asks the cougar. "Rise and shine, assholes," trills the bird. "Ball is life," proclaims the hamster. "I have zero interest in seeing you later," quoth the alligator. Includes the world's ugliest animal, according to the Smithsonian (we'll let you guess which one this is).

Giggle and belly laugh your way through this definitely not-for-kids, probably not-safe-for-work collection of brilliant insights into the filthy animals all around us.

Carla Butwin is an illustrator and Creative Director from Detroit, Michigan. By day, she creates award-winning advertising campaigns for brands like Busch beer, Tylenol, and Oreo. By night, she sleeps. Her work has been featured on The Huffington Post, Mashable, and BuzzFeed. Carla's other passions include contemporary art, fresh pastries, and ogling dogs on the street. Josh Cassidy is a writer and Creative Director from Detroit, Michigan. He's created award-winning advertising campaigns for brands including Taco Bell, Dr Pepper, and Hyundai. Josh's work has been featured in places such as Fast Company, The New Yorker, Mashable, and has been viewed everywhere from the front page of Reddit to the Super Bowl. A member of Film Independent and Los Angeles County Museum of Art, Josh is also passionate about film, art, music, and pretty much everything creative. His other hobbies include shooting hoops, eating breakfast, and cheering for his underachieving Detroit sports teams.

"Rise and shine, assholes," trills the bird If animals could talk, what would they say? Certainly nothing polite, according to this hilarious illustrated book. On these pages, you'll meet over 100 illustrated animals showing the whole range of human emotions and foibles, from sassy to grumpy, arrogant to dejected, glib to nonplused. "How old did you say you were?" asks the cougar. "Rise and shine, assholes," trills the bird. "Ball is life," proclaims the hamster. "I have zero interest in seeing you later," quoth the alligator. Includes the world's ugliest animal, according to the Smithsonian (we'll let you guess which one this is). Giggle and belly laugh your way through this definitely not-for-kids, probably not-safe-for-work collection of brilliant insights into the filthy animals all around us.

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