Bonded by Evolution

One of the most joyfully uplifting antidotes to 21st-century gloom, and a call for the rising numbers of single young people to get off their phones and back out there in the real dating world. * THE TIMES *
His new book Bonded By Evolution dismantles myths round sex-based age gaps (women are just as inclined as men to desire younger partners, apparently) and makes the case that men find ambition and high earnings desirable in women – even though the likes of Andrew Tate would have people believe career women are an abomination. Eastwick’s main observation is that the best data arises from watching how men and women interact in real life, rather than mining information from dating sites and swipes. * Rowan Pelling, TELEGRAPH *
I was fascinated by our piece this week about Paul Eastwick’s new book, Bonded by Evolution, which explores how what we think we want from a heterosexual romantic relationship (to nutshell it: women, power; men, youth) is not actually the case. There are similar crossed wires in the way we think about fashion. * Anna Murphy, THE TIMES *
Rarely have scientific rigor and exuberant optimism been such congenial companions. Drawing on the strongest scientific studies, Eastwick unearths a joyous truth: Happiness in love isn’t a gated country club where the 10s and 9s splash about together in skimpy swimsuits. A pro-tip for the lovelorn: Bonded By Evolution overturns the flawed conventional wisdom on love and compatibility. It presents an optimistic new paradigm, one that provides clear guidance for romantic success. * Eli Finkel, author of THE ALL OR NOTHING MARRIAGE *
In this bold and compelling challenge to the popular science of romance, Paul Eastwick argues that human beings have not evolved to find partners who match their beauty and brilliance or maximize the potential of their offspring, but to seek compatibility. The implications of this thesis are both profound and pragmatic, suggesting an entirely different approach to the study – and pursuit – of love. * Eric Klinenberg, co-author of MODERN ROMANCE *
In a world saturated with cynical advice about dating and gender, this book is a revelation. Eastwick argues — persuasively and often movingly — that human beings are built for cooperation, not conquest. Bonded by Evolution is rigorous science written with warmth and moral clarity. * Daniel H. Pink, #1 New York Times bestselling author of DRIVE and THE POWER OF REGRET *

Paul Eastwick is a Professor of Psychology at UC Davis, where he serves as the head of the Social-Personality Psychology program and the director of the Attraction and Relationships Research Laboratory. Thousands of undergraduate students have taken his course on attraction and close relationships, and he has published over one hundred scientific articles and chapters and won numerous early career awards. His research and writing has been featured in outlets like The New York Times, The Atlantic, NPR, and Scientific American Mind. He hosts the popular podcast Love Factually with his long-time colleague, Eli Finkel, where they analyze rom-coms and romantic dramas from the perspective of relationship science. He earned his bachelor’s degree at Cornell University and his PhD at Northwestern University.

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