Ricky Gervais suspects ‘Flanimal Rights’ movement of stealing thousands of copies of his latest book – thankfully leading to this hilarious interview!

• The nominees for the 1970 Booker Prize have been announced. No, that isn’t a typo.

• “Abandon all hope ye who enter the secret code to Level 9.” Dante’s Inferno is now a video game.

• Unicorns vs. Zombies. You know who my money’s on.

• Vapid reality TV star and sometime author Lauren Conrad has released a list of her all time favourite books. Gawker provides commentary.

• “The group’s passion for Salinger was achingly sincere. They loved his books and claimed to have been saved by his stories. They signed their plea “the young people”. But instead of accepting Salinger’s published works as gifts, they sought his unpublished writings as their due, like ungrateful children. Surely art is not an obligation. It must always be a choice.”

• Just about every man and his dog has had a go at poor Elizabeth Gilbert and her maddeningly popular pseudo-intellectual essays. Isn’t it time someone stood up against the backlash?

• Nick Hornby might get an Oscar! But then again, he might not.

• Jurgen Habermas is not on Twitter! Jurgen Habermas is not on Twitter! Jurgen Habermas is not on Twitter!

• Just because you’ve written a masterpiece doesn’t mean anyone is going to remember you. Sad, but true.

• And finally, a list of literature’s greatest fictional drugs. Enjoy!

Jordan – TheNile.co.nz

Billy T: The Life and Times of Billy T. James

Matt Elliott

Year: 2009

Pages: 256

He was born William James Te Wehi Taitoko, but we knew and loved him as comedian and entertainer Billy T. James.  For the first time since his death in 1991, comes a biography on the man famed for his cheeky giggle, black singlet and yellow towel: Billy T: The Life and Times of Billy T. James by Matt Elliott.

Starting life in Cambridge before moving to Whangarei, the young Billy (or Te Wehi as he was originally known) was not obviously a comedic talent in the making.  Musically however, he was clearly gifted and was never far from a guitar.  It was through music he first began performing, eventually touring the globe with the Maori Volcanics cabaret act where he began honing his on stage skills and his unique sense of humour and timing began to emerge.

The book explores his career as it flourished. Billy toured extensively throughout New Zealand with his stand up comedy routine fused with music and singing (the later a career many believed he could have successfully pursued professionally also) before creating a string of popular television shows and appearing in an award winning, film stealing cameo in the film “Came A Hot Friday.”

But Elliot’s book also shows the lesser known, darker side of the funny man’s life; bad financial dealings, tax investigations, a sinister series of threats on his life (including gun shots fired through his living room window) and the health problems that claimed him at just 42 years of age.  The events around his death and the subsequent “body snatching” to lie in state on Waahi Marae in Huntley – an event which polarised opinions - are also covered.

It’s a comprehensive and deep delving biography, with not just the chronology of Billy T’s life covered, but lots of background information about the man who almost single handedly developed a New Zealand stand up comedy scene.  It is the first time many of Billy’s close friends, including his wife Lynn, have spoken about our greatest comedian and with their help the book reveals the man behind the laughter and accolades as someone who, while always ready with a joke, was almost shy in nature and never seeking of the limelight and praise which naturally flowed to him.  I particularly enjoyed the insights into the creations of some of his best known skits including Marae Network News, Turangi Vice and the Captain Cook landings.

However, the book does suffer at times from a deluge of over information, particularly about other people connected to Billy.  Sections ranging in length from paragraphs to at times, whole pages are devoted to the back story of people Billy met or comedians that influenced him.  These at times bogged the story down and I found myself beginning to skim over these unnecessary detours.

But don’t let that one niggle put you off.  Billy T: The Life and Times of Billy T. James by Matt Elliott, the first ever biography on Billy, is a great read about the man who taught us to laugh not only at each other but at ourselves.   Thorough and detailed and liberally sprinkled with Billy’s trademark jokes, it’s a must read for all Kiwis.

- Kelly

Yesterday, Jobs handed down the Tablet from on high. That’s great. But I think that there is a certain piece of technology that already makes the iPad seem, well, a little lacklustre. Introducing BOOK!

• J.D. Salinger, Dead at 91.

• They say everyone has a book in them. Saying that, the simple truth is that most of us will never see their literary dreams come to fruition due to careers, family and the countless other distractions of everyday life. But with the GFC and all those lay-offs, thousands of corporate types have finally had the chance to put pen to paper – and at last their work is filtering through to bookstores. I present to you: ‘lay-off lit!’

• Lick the back of Tim Winton’s head for… oh, about 55c, I guess.

• Will the iPad change publishing as we know it? Short answer: no.

• I just like this poem.

• Never gets old.

• Psychic writes autobiography fifteen years after her death.

• You remember that long, rambling article about recent trends in sex and fiction? I posted it last week. No? You know, the one with those cool pink diagrams? Still nothing? Geez. Well anyway, here’s the rebuttal to that article.

• Fiction is dead. No really. Super dead.

• And to cap things off, how about a study of boredom? ‘“Bliss — a second-by-¬second joy and gratitude at the gift of being alive, conscious — lies on the other side of crushing, crushing boredom,” Wallace wrote in a note left with the manuscript. “Pay close attention to the most tedious thing you can find (Tax Returns, Televised Golf) and, in waves, a boredom like you’ve never known will wash over you and just about kill you. Ride these out, and it’s like stepping from black and white into color. Like water after days in the desert. Instant bliss in every atom.”’

Jordan – TheNile.co.nz

Introducing… THE BOOK!

• Mysterious Poe Toaster mysteriously absent from Poe Toast.

• And speaking of Poe, The Edgars might just be the world’s ugliest award. “Ugh… thanks, I guess…”

• Twilight – now with pretty pictures!

• Bloomsbury just can’t get their cover art right.

• No one knows who owns Holmes.

• Too many Winstons!

• “From across the bookstore, it flashes at me like the plumage of a wild bird seeking a mate: one of those small gold circles indicative of acclaim. And, frankly, I’m a little turned on.” But alas, prizes just ain’t what they seem.

• Science Fiction. You’re doing it wrong!

• Ever wondered what William S. Burrough’s stuff looked like? Me neither. Well now you can!

• Male authors. Sex. Some pink diagrams? And some… geez… I don’t know…

Jordan – TheNile.co.nz

Last month we gave one lucky reviewer a complimentary $50 gift voucher as thanks for posting their impressions up on our site. Well, now that January has rolled on by, it’s once again time to announce the winner of our latest monthly Review Competition. So let’s get into it!

This month’s competition was incredibly tough to judge. Despite this, I’m pleased to announce that our winner for January is…

*drumroll*

…A C Porteous!

But don’t take our word for it. See for yourself! The full review is reproduced below:

Allen Carr’s Easy Way to Stop Smoking

Allen Carr

Rating: 4/5

I smoked for 10 years and tried to quit several times in the past. It wasn’t until I came across this book, recommended by a friend, that I actually managed to successfully stop smoking.

The writing style of the author may not be the best in the world, and Allen Carr apologises for this, but despite limitations, the message does get through to the reader. If you are a smoker and desperately want to become a non-smoker or you know of a smoker who wants to stop then I thoroughly suggest you get this book - you have absolutely nothing to lose in doing so!

For their troubles, A C Porteous will receive a $50 book voucher. Congratulations!

——————————————————————————————————

If you submitted a review this month, all of us here at TheNile.co.nz would like to thank you. You are helping to make our site a better place and getting a shot a collecting $25 worth of books in the process.

So next time you finish a book, post up your impressions. It’s simple, it’s easy and it doesn’t take long. And who knows? Maybe your review will be in the spotlight next month! So get posting!

Jordan - TheNile.co.nz

One Sentence - Animated

• Avatar’s narrative was by no measure groundbreaking. But despite this, it appears that there are some spooky parallels between James Cameron’s futuristic setting and that of the Strugatsky brothers in their seminal science fiction series Noon Universe…

• Tolstoy gets upgraded: ‘Small US publisher Quirk Books, which had an unexpected hit with the Bennet-sisters-plus-zombies mash-up Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, will publish Android Karenina in June in the US and the UK to mark the centenary of Tolstoy’s death. Like its predecessor, it will intersperse the original text of the novel with science fiction action to create “an enhanced edition of the classic love story set in a dystopian world of robots, cyborgs, and interstellar space travel”’.

• Stick within one genre and the fans love you. But you’ll be a sellout. Sprinkle your work across a wide range of different styles and you get to keep your artistic integrity - but you won’t have built yourself a fan base. It’s a lose-lose situation…

• Sookie Stackhouse author Charlaine Harris talks about blood, love and vampires in this revealing interview.

• RIP Miep Gies, last living link to Anne Frank…

• Seven lost books that could have changed the course of the world…

• “Woman Married To Fat, Emotionally Distant Vampire Escapes Into ‘Twilight’ Novels”

• Probably the strangest headline you’ll read all Friday: “French novelists at war over the ‘theft of a dead baby’.”

• Everyone has heard of the so-called “Death of the Author”. But what does it really mean?

• What happens when authors can’t tell the time?

Jordan – TheNile.co.nz

The sad state of contemporary publishing.

• “The Google Nexus-One - More human than human”

• To those of you who’ve stolen a Bible, I’ve got a bit of a spoiler for you: stealing is bad!

• Sherlock Holmes - “amorphous sleuth”.

• I have no idea what this is – suffice to say that it pushes the boundaries of awesomitude.

• This year, read a book you hate. You never know… you might just find something good. And even if you don’t, at least you can take solace in the fact that you were right.

• It’s 2010. WHERE IS MY HOVERBOARD, DAMN IT!?

• Hilary Mantel doesn’t win 2009 Costa Award!

• A. L. Kennedy on why writers need friends.

• “The knave abideth.” The Big Lebowski gets rewritten… as a work of Shakespeare.

Jordan – TheNile.co.nz

Happy New Year from all of us here at TheNile! Here’s something very special.

• “The usual storyline runs something like this: someone comes to Baker Street with a problem. Holmes smiles knowingly, then assures the worried soul that all will be well. He excuses himself while refusing to tell Watson what he thinks or what he’s up to. That evening he returns, takes a quick snifter of cocaine, gravely informs Watson “it is as I feared”, arranges a rendezvous for midnight … and urges Watson to bring his revolver.” I hate to say it, but I too think that the Sherlock Holmes stories are a little bit… lame…

• Everyone knows that it’s an American’s constitutional right to freely engage in the ‘pursuit of happiness’. But doesn’t that imply that true happiness is an unattainable goal? Well, at least the NYT seems to agree with me…

• Newspapers are on the way out… but will anyone actually miss them?

• Senor Spielbergo to direct children’s book turned play turned movie. Nice!

• Ursula K. LeGuinn, the Authors Guild and Google are currently embroiled in a three way slinging match concerning the sanctity of copyright. You want tickets to this fight.

• In case you recently came of out a year-long coma, The Guardian has posted a nice little (?) summary of the many and varied happenings in the global literary fraternity in 2009. Enjoy.

• “Horner recently wrote a book entitled How to Build A Dinosaur in which he refers to the embryo experiment as part of a quest to create a ‘chickenosaurus.’” Yes, please.

• A stunning (and in many ways, very touching) reassessment of The Merchant of Venice.

• These holidays, pay a visit to Abe’s Weird Book Room. Including gems like: Blessed are the Cheesemakers, The Who’s Who of British Beheadings, Tattooed Mountain Women and Spoonboxes of Daghestan, The How and Why Wonder Book of Guns and Was Karl Marx a Satanist?

• The Dude abides.

Jordan – TheNile.co.nz

Merry Christmas from Japan’s favorite beatboxer! I DON’T NEED A REASON!

• Writing Wrongs: When Authors Attack!

• “That there is some algorithm which helps us determine who wrote what falls into the same kind of category of futility as those scientific studies that claim to have determined the formula for female beauty or what makes a really good sandwich.”

• The top ten covers of 2009, courtesy of the Book Design Review.

• Everyone loves A Christmas Carol. But did you know that the book (despite its immense popularity) only earned Charles Dickens scant financial rewards?

• Who killed John Keats?

• Armit Chaudhari talks about a bunch of stuff…

• “The many mysteries boil down to three. There is the kind that can be solved: who planted the bomb? Will the travellers reach their destination? What is Mother’s childhood secret? There is the supernatural: dark metaphysical forces, never to be fully exposed, yet hinting of themselves in a way that suggests the author could reveal more if he chose, and might do, in his next book. And there are the insoluble mysteries: what lies beyond life, what beauty is for, why the innocent suffer and the guilty prosper, what goes on in the heads of other people, why life keeps fucking us over just when we’re doing all right — these are the mysteries the books dealing with them can’t solve, and it is for this reason that the best of these books are the ones we keep rereading.” — James Meek

• “Imagine that you are the man with the world’s strongest thighs / It is Christmas and you have received an enormous pair of porcelain football boots”

• Which books do you regret reading?

• A fascinating glimpse at the man behind Tin Tin.

Jordan – TheNile.co.nz

Here’s a trailer for Peter Jackson’s soon-to-be-released adaptation of Alice Sebold’s bestselling novel - The Lovely Bones.  Enjoy!

• How about a list of the decade’s best unread books?

• How about a list of the decade’s best science fiction novels?

• How about a list of the decade’s best neologisms? This one’s a real ‘barbeque stopper’.

• HOTW: “Tiger Woods drives sales of physics book.” At least he can drive something.

• Jeremy Clarkson. You either love him, or you hate him. This guy hates him.

• Just about every Romance cliché you can possibly imagine. Bodices will be ripped.

• ORLY: “Outgunned in the specialist press, Carroll took his mathematics to his fiction. Using a technique familiar from Euclid’s proofs, reductio ad absurdum, he picked apart the “semi-logic” of the new abstract mathematics, mocking its weakness by taking these premises to their logical conclusions, with mad results. The outcome is Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland.”

• “Slowly a pink image materialized on the stick. Holy geez!”

• Second thoughts on rewriting.

• And now, the scariest thing you’ll see all Friday. Guaranteed.

Jordan – TheNile.co.nz